How can I appear more confident, especially around guys I like?

I developed a social anxiety disorder between the ages of 4 and 8.

In my entire life up to the age of 13 I only had 5 friends in total. I found out 6 months ago about my social anxiety and I used internet sites to help me be able to talk to people. I started hanging out with a large group of friends, I'm not really close with any of them but they are friends.

However I still feel awkward around people and they do notice. If I'm around a guy I like I start to shake uncontrollably, I want to talk with him but I can't, I get so nervous I can't speak, which is a little embarrassing, and I've just started ignoring him altogether-which I don't really want to do.

I really need to build my confidence around people and develop my social skills, feel more physically relaxed when I'm around them. I don't know how to do this though, I tried reading articles on building self confidence but it didn't help. I'm also too afraid to ask for counseling. Please, is there anything I can do?

Thanks for reading.

ANSWER BY VICTORIA GRANT


The first step to building more confidence is to understand that it is not external factors that cause your insecurities. It starts inside. In your own mind. The prominent thoughts you hold are the ones that you empower, and if these thoughts are negative then your experiences will be also.

Confidence comes as a result of 'feeling great about yourself' and the easiest way to do that is to work on improving yourself, finding out what your dreams are and what you want out of life and working towards it. When you are focused on your passion and have direction, goals and a plan you become happier and healthier as a result.

You are dealing with a lot of fear right now and over thinking. Stay positive and see yourself as confident in your mind already 'fake it before you make it'. Study people that you feel exude confidence and copy what they do.

You have one life to live and are always learning, learn now to change your thoughts and focus on 'what you want to happen' rather than what you 'dont want.'

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