Dating or Waiting for True Love? Wait No Longer...
Read on for Dating guidance for how to attract the right Man/Woman for you.
Seem like all of your friends are dating, getting married, having kids, fulfilling your dreams of that perfect life and you just feel left behind.
Well you wouldn't be the first and you damn sure will not be the last. Carpe diem (sieze the day)
THE POWER OF NOW
From ages as early as three and four years old, we are bombarded with images of the perfect prince and princess scenario's such as Cinderella and snow white.
A fantasy is created in our minds that by the time we reach a suitable age our perfect suitor will arrive on their big white horse, or white Bentley nowadays ;o) and rescue us from the dreary gloom of everyday life. 'No one said anything about dating'.
Well by now and if you've landed on this page then we all know how true that is. I am not saying that it is impossible, although for the majority of us this just is not the case.
I can call my self an expert on this topic as I have definitely been on both sides of the coin. I was in a very long term relationship almost ten years in fact which unfortunately or fortunately didn't last, which left me single for near enough the same amount of time.
I remember being in the last stages of my relationship and almost praying to be single, the freedom, the chance to re-discover my self and all the independence that it would bring. I never anticipated the lonely nights, dinners for one and feeling like a third wheel in many couple situations when out with friends.
When your on your own for long time it is only natural that you will do a lot of thinking. Who am I? what am I hear for? Why didn’t my relationship work out? whats wrong with me? and all the other mumble jumble that goes through our minds on those cold lonely nights. Ahhhh 'sigh'.
But it does get better, believe me. There comes a point where all the pieces do eventually start to fall in to place, and you can start to appreciate what you have rather than what you don’t have, but it takes courage and persistence everyday as the process continues.
As with most things in life there is a formula to success. Yes even with personal relationships. In fact most formulas start with the same blueprint. You just need to know what it is and how to apply it to your life.
There are many magazines books TV shows etc that will advise you to change your hair and make up, go on more dates, hitch up your skirt and flirt with your boss. And to always have loads of options etcetera.
But to be honest, obviously their advice for dating is not working, seeing that there has never been so much single people in history as there is today. And considering the amount of technology and information available you would think the opposite to be true.
From social networking, mobile phones, speed dating events and online dating services how could any one in this day and age still be searching for love?
Well read on and I will share with you what has worked for me.
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Have a word with your self
There are many single people nowadays said to be looking for love. Yearning to at last find that special some one who can be the yin to their yang. The missing piece of the puzzle that will at last complete the picture to make all their dreams reality.
So much emphasis is put on finding that special one that not enough effort is being put on becoming that special one. Well it's time to take stock. For every thing we will ever desire in life is going to take work, it may seem unfair but there is a good reason for this.
There are too many children growing up in single parent homes and we are experiencing some of the highest divorce rates ever recorded in history due to the lack of effort individuals are willing to make to prepare themselves for 'the one'.
If you are single and dating or considering dates 'which you probably are' if your reading this, then believe me it’s for a reason. It may be that you need to forgive your self or someone for something in your past? Maybe you need time to reconnect with your family members or friends or it could be that it’s your time for self discovery?.
There could be a wealth of reasons for your single status right now and weather you know what they are or not the only job you have right now is to embrace it. At different stages of our life we will undoubtedly encounter different states 'lonely does not mean alone'. Come to realise that where you are at this exact moment is right where you need to be. For learning, for development and for ultimate growth.
We attract in to our life’s that which we are. If you are attracting partners that you don’t want then the buck starts and ends with you.
Have a word with your self. Go deep inside and rise above your immediate thoughts and feelings, are you living in alignment with your greatest purpose? Are you fulfilling those dreams of being the best you can be? If not then its no wonder that 'the one' hasn’t yet manifested in to your physical realm.
If you want something different then you first must become different, if you want things to change then you must be willing to change.
Start by recreating your self from the inside out. Happiness finds happiness and that’s just how the universe operates, you get back exactly what you are prepared to give out. No one is going to come along and complete you as you are already complete you just need to realise that fact.
Love is all around us at all times and it’s free to be embraced by all. By your acts of kindness, encouragement, selfless deeds and warm smile. In natures abundance, the animals and other human beings it will be found. Before you think you are ready to be with 'the one' fall in love with you.
Any thing you think another can bring in to your life is already available to you. Buy your self flowers, take yourself for a slap up meal and go and watch a romantic comedy at the movies 'yes, by your self'.
Don’t be afraid to fall in love with the person you see in the mirror. Not in an egotistical vain sense but with a deep understanding of your true creative powers and unlimited potential. Prepare your self for 'the one' by becoming 'the one'. Go to the gym more and keep your health in check, focus on your goals and keep busy in times when you feel lonely.
By working on creating the lifestyle you desire you will be developing as an individual as well as boosting your self esteem and self confidence which is always a magnet for success in any area including romance.
When the bar is raised on your self, it will automatically raise for any one who wishes to be around you. Only by becoming committed to you can you ever be committed to another.
I have come to realise that the modern idea’s of dating and liberal ways that it is approached are causing a lot more harm than good. In a world that seems to be shrinking by the day with all the unlimited access to others at our fingertips you would think that the opposite would be true.
So how is it that with the likes of social networking, instant messenger, texting, mobile phone and email we still seem so far apart? The technology’s that are meant to push us closer together have had almost the direct opposite effect.
Instead of meeting up in social surroundings and having good old fashioned dates, we are now pinging each other on our blackberry’s, exchanging pin numbers rather than phone numbers and sending provocative photos (the challenge of the hunter having to find his prey is lost).
People are posting statuses on their profiles of what they have been up to rather than meeting up to have real conversations face to face.
As spiritual beings becoming human we are programmed for a high level of emotion, we connect with others through touch, feel, vibration, energy and tone.
Language only makes up around 5% of communication and unfortunately this is the main part being used by generations today. I'm not at all suggesting that we throw our modern technology to the wind and regress in to the dark ages, 'no way' i'm all about moving forward but there has to be a balance.
If you have been so busy lately with working on your goals, keeping fit, handling your business etc, then you may have been tempted to join an online dating service or social networking site to find your true love. If this is the case and you believe that you will find 'the one' using these mediums then go ahead.
All I would suggest is that when it comes to these kind of websites, you are a small fish in a very big pond. The same people you are talking to are more than likely talking to many other’s also.
Exchanging flirty messages and pictures, arranging to meet up and they could be promising them the same things they have promised you. Meeting people is always fun but there are also danger’s attached to liaising with strangers on the internet.
And like I mentioned earlier you will only be connecting with that person with 5% of your communication. In my eyes you’re selling your self short. The wonderful person you are is not being revealed 'unless you meet up a few times' that is. But remember they may be meeting up with others too.
If you have read the first chapter and had a word with your self you should now be in a position where you are happy with whom you are and will not compromise your integrity just to get a date.
You will demand that whoever you choose to engage your time and energy with has to meet your very high standards. You demand of others what you demand of your self and that is 'the best'.
Many a times when we are lonely and feel that we deserve some attention we search for it outside. We may have a few numbers in the phone simply for pleasure purposes, that someone who we can call when were wanting to fulfil our sexual needs, someone to make us feel alright just for the night.
'Friends with benefits' I hear you say and yep, you would be right. Well i'm glad you know what i'm talking about but do you know where i'm going?
If you are serious about becoming 'the one' and meeting 'the one' then all of the above 'friends with benefits' has to stop. Take the numbers out of your phone and erase all of those dirty texts.
You see if you want any one to respect you for the magnificent person that you are then you have to demand it by your example. Being satisfied on only a sexual level would be like trying to maintain a healthy diet on high fat junk food.
It may satisfy your immediate needs and impulses but it will eventually clog up your arteries, give you spots and leave a deep void of hunger for real substance. Each of us comes in many dimensions and it is necessary to have balance if we wish to create harmony.
The act of sex itself is a spiritual act, intended to combine two kindred spirits in a cocoon of love and light, an act that hails immense power when in alignment with its greater goal of pro creation and not just in a physical sense.
It shouldn’t therefore be taken lightly or thought of as simply physical gratification for it goes far deeper than that. When we are intimate sexually with some one we are merely dating. We share energy as well as bodily fluids, they draw from ours and vice versa it is a bonding ritual that is intended to bring great satisfaction and rewards.
It is even more symbolic for a woman as she physically submits her self and lets another enter her body. Mind body and spirit is used simultaneously when two people have sex so it stands to reason that you are very careful and selective when you are choosing your partner.
If you wouldn’t share your bank pin number, deepest secrets, wildest dreams, or greatest fears with them and they are not willing to share theirs then why would you give away something even more precious through the act of sex?. You own your body, mind and spirit. Giving you have complete control over who you let get close to you at any given time.
If you are having casual relationships then always remember that who ever your partner has previously slept with is now sleeping with you. The energy I mentioned earlier that gets transferred during the act of sex remains with us and is carried until internal cleansing and healing is actioned.
(This can be achieved through reiki, meditation, prayer, time, patience, and light) but there is no point beginning the healing process if you are planning to have a fling tomorrow.
Self worth is the key to having the best relationships. And the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with you. Learn to live your life so you have no regrets.
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