How can I step out of my comfort zone?

by Shaun
(USA)

For the past couple of years I've been having bad luck motivating myself to socialize with people and now for the second semester I've been attending this community college and I still haven't made any strides in getting better.

And there's another thing there are lots of girls up here which makes me nervous. I wanna talk to girls I really do but I seem to think that talking to girls is some sort science.

I always think to myself what should I say or she'll never talk to me. I always fear for the worst and then I start to put myself down, thinking to myself I can't do this or I never be able to talk to her.

Due to me not being very social I have a hard time opening up myself and making conservations with others. I see people around and I listen to there conservations and it follows smoothly.

I just don't know how to do anything whether its (approaching a girl, making conservation, being myself around girls, etc). I wanna be myself but its hard when I always suspect that people won't like me because of this or that.

I don't have that high level of confidence where I can be like I can talk to her or I can talk to them. I always admire who aren't afraid to because themselves because really I want to be like that. How can I step out of comfort zone?

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Aug 05, 2012
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ANSWER BY VICTORIA GRANT NEW
by: Anonymous

QUESTION

For the past couple of years I've been having bad luck motivating myself to socialize with people and now for the second semester I've been attending this community college and I still haven't made any strides in getting better.

And there's another thing there are lots of girls up here which makes me nervous. I wanna talk to girls I really do but I seem to think that talking to girls is some sort science.

I always think to myself what should I say or she'll never talk to me. I always fear for the worst and then I start to put myself down, thinking to myself I can't do this or I never be able to talk to her.

Due to me not being very social I have a hard time opening up myself and making conservations with others. I see people around and I listen to there conservations and it follows smoothly.

I just don't know how to do anything whether its (approaching a girl, making conservation, being myself around girls, etc). I wanna be myself but its hard when I always suspect that people won't like me because of this or that.

I don't have that high level of confidence where I can be like I can talk to her or I can talk to them. I always admire who aren't afraid to because themselves because really I want to be like that. How can I step out of comfort zone?

ANSWER BY VICTORIA
Sometimes in life you have to 'Fake it before you make it.' The only way to step out of your comfort zone is to 'Step Out' literally.

Whatever you have been doing up until this point has not been working for you so its time to do the complete opposite. Remember that you can not please everybody all of the time, so the easiest thing to do is to 'please yourself.'

As long as you are not being deliberately rude or disrespectful to people then there is no reason why you shouldn't be joining in conversations, networking and making friends.

You are over thinking too much and its causing these anxieties that are preventing you from enjoying life to the full.

Only you can decide if what you want is worth doing what you dont want! The thought of change is always harder than the actual change, you have to see life as a fun journey and just enjoy the ride.

Ask people what their interests are and share yours, Start conversations with a compliment that always works a treat. Watch other people you see as confident and see what they do. Copy it!

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